hah... took quite a several days to have the "clear" mind to write up this... terrible xmas... my nitemare wasnt on xmas eve, its on xmas... he left already... but can i do one last very silly thingy for him?? let me wait for him... i admit i still have alittle cant let go but... jus let me stay in the storeroom of fruits ba.. one day the lemon wil either bein used up or will go rot... nah... ppl sing "zhu wo shen ri kuai le" already sounds so ke lian.. me?! im singin "zhu wo shen dan kai le"... still got joke la huh... im normal.. hee..

stayed at home isnt reali a very gd way to forget all the hurts... no choice... the whole world is verybz.. i overcomed the hardest period alread... so i guess i can carry on too... argh.... i miss him lots... but he promise we'll still b frns... let me jus keep quiet.... cant comment alot here... jus keep all to myself... all my happy tots, sad tot.. n suicidal tot =X

whuhu.... lets talk abt a little happy thingy ba.... dre's 2 ppl who i said i look like Rong Zu Er... the hK singer... whahaha... jenn said its a criticism for her... whaha...

i once tot lemon n lime were both fruit... its under the same cateogory as both of em are sour.... blah blah blah... so both lemon n lime are bein put together n no one oppose the idea... Ya, altho quite many ppl give neg comments la... but dere're still be packed togeth in a same box.... but as time goes by.. things turned out differently...

lonely xmas... i dun wan a lonely new year! i dun wan a lonely valentine!!! i dun wan a lonely bday!!!!

ppl say wen u lost somethi den u noe hw impt tat thing is to u... ya... for those frns who had read my prev blog noes abt cat who makes tiramisu... n should have doubt my luv for lemon ba... but nw i understand, is who im in luv with deeply... is lemon... is not cat... cat is jus a passerby who failed to declared the luv he had n my luv for him... its not tat he's great tat he nv makes me cry, but is jus tat i've nothin to cry abt... can jus say all my attention is with lemon ba... wen cat din return my call or sms, i jus let it goes... but fro lemon, i'll feel sad cuz i reali cares... ytd was the 2nd time wher he ask us to end the relationship... break down... its the 2nd time... wad happen to us?!! i always tot he's a xmas present tat god gaves... Mayb now god wants it back.. tats y he'll ask to talk abt our prob aft xmas..

i tot i could be sooo strong to jus agree with him to go sep ways but i cant... i dunno why is dere water keep drippin and fallin from my eyes dwn my cheeks... i wonder if dere're tears.. im confuse.. he did replied me aft tat n suggest us to talk abt it aft xmas... i cant do anyth but to agree... but im tinkin... If at tis point of time i still have the right to call him dear anot? i hesistate if i'd post up tis blog anot... wad others will comment on him... ppl say he's not a good guy.. but i believe him utterly... i wanna cry out down... i wanna hug him n cry... i wan to wake up from tis xmas nitemare... tis is the worst terrible xmas i ever had...

Jenn was still tellin me 1 week ago tat i wasnt ever got a lonely xmas.. last yr have guanda n tis yr have shaun... nw i've nothing... i jus wish to say at home alone n cry all my hearts out... let me cry ba... i dunno wad's happenin with him.. izzit the stress n tired of work? or the sick n tired of me? WAD EXACTLY HAPPEN???!

Jane commented tat she sees me cry more than i smile... sorry ger, im afraid u're alittle wrong... wen we're togeth we nv quarrel... its all kai kai xin xin n tian tian mi mi de... deres oni tis 2 time wen he makes me cry.. oni 2 times....

argh... jus scold me naive or stupid ba... but i'll wait...

lemon n lime are fruits... neither of which are bein put into the wrong box by mistake... its my choice... its my decision... i've no regrets...

wad i wan for xmas WAS a big melody for me to hug to slp... or a dozen of bear flower... u noe those flower but not flower, its bear??? or a purple-gold ring or necklace... but nw.... i jus wan him to be back with me... no meet up i can tahan... but at least dun let a simple phone call be so cold... i reali luv him to a state where i cant control...

i reali dunnno hw to start with my blog today... hmmm, mayb jus start tellin abt wad happen ytd ba...

had my lunch with lemon @ 126 geylang... the one sellin hk dian xin... but before havin it got gastric pain... who noes aft eating even worst... den he sent me home lor n zzz...

went to work with him n he brought bk n kfc... lol...

someone gave me a great surprise wor... his arrival n his tiramisu... heh... he made by himself de wor... im the first to eat it... hee... like it... pretty sweet, but its too late... i waited for him for some time but we din contact each other aft an occassion.. but he was actuali very busy with his work (jus realise it) ... den i gave up... tis is perhaps a regret is our life ba... whaha... finally realise tat meaning which xiezhi said :: "wen u like someone, be brave to tell him or her or else u'll regret in your life..." hmm but he still pretty nice... to send me home... n talk with me on the phone... but im clear with one thing la... i already attach le... as he've said : "wad else can i say, u already got bf"... ok... tks for cat's understanding... n he wish me happy... tks tks... he nv make me feel difficult n i reali appreciate it. i noe i've already attach so i wont go 2X hurt 2 guys lor... as i've promise myself aft caoyuan&vincent-incident i will be very SERIOUS n CLEAR abt my feelin le... wont do things jus for the sake of another party n in another way hurt all the ppl involove... i jus realise hw much i feel for lemon durin fri's quarrel, but at the same time i aso wake up... i rmb wad i learnt aft guanda's incident... muz na de qi fang de xia or else zui hou shuo shang de hui shi zi ji... i'll be faithful to lemon of course... but i jus cant deny i do feel alittle for cat still =x jus blame tat me n cat dun have the TIAN SHI, DI LI & REN HE...

say till so much, lata ppl will jus feel im san xin liang yi... lolz... wadever it is, jus let nature take course...

n one more thing, lemon said he'll cook fried rice for me! hee! i'll jus wait n see if he kept his promise...

lata gonna start work... 7am... so tired...

im still in a close-mood, not very energetic, still a quiet introvert... hmm... jus had a BAD n BLACK friday... its the first time where i felt so blue n first time had the breaking down feeling ever since im with him... nahz... its love ba... but now everything ok le... its the same prob of dunno hw to express myself... im not those kind of gal who keep tellin her darling hw much she luv her... but im more on the sms-kind... i'll do all in sms... mayb is a wrong communication channel ba... i tot somethings dun have to declare? hw cum nw make it tat u tot i wasnt serious... n im reali still very lost wad reali leads to our quarrel... hmmm... jus tat he misunderstood i dun trust him?! nahhh.... jus dump wadever tat has happen to the corner... its jus a misunderstandin... n i DEFINTELY WONT LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN...

to others, he's reali good in sweet-talks... but i chose to believe... jus cuz of the word "trust"...

hmm... was pretty tired ytd so today slp til 7pm... heee... im a pig...

jus went to cini to get some small little xmas gift... hee.. but din but anything for the lemon... dunnno wad to get... but i reali luv the necklace he gave... hee...

yea. past is past. wadever wrongs or wadever saddness is already the past. i admit im gulity towards caoyuan... but i cant bluff him more... n tat vincent... well... i reali got no more good comments towards guys... he's the 3rd one who hold a gal's hand infront of me... but rest assure, im not feelin lousy... i jus wish to say sorry to caoyuan... but i mus declare one thing, i never played him out. hmmm... jus scold me bitch ba... but now i will reallt COMMIT le... luv lemon to bits.

lalala... got my 2nd pay.. reali din regret of switching lor... nw thinkin back, pb reali gave me a piece of beautiful n ugly memories wen i left, it gave me a beautiful gift.. hee... i'll treasure it... treasure lemon...

hee. im at novena nw... beside my workplac... start work at 11pm... cuz of some reason...

hmmm... jane have her idiot, ive my lemon... whaha... founded my prince... this time i'll commit liao... he's the right guy for me.... heee... so fated or rather coincident... he have the care n concern i wan... he've the love for me... n me too...

first tot he was jus play play... cuz of ryan's comment n his appearence... n his action... his sweet-talk during our 1st time chatting over the phone... but as days goes by, i felt his seriousness... n love n care....

jus say me naive ba... or jus say me stupid...but i jus wanna enjoy tis moment with my loved one...

everything change liao... i resign from partybox liao... nw workin with christine... hmmm... quite a nice plac, the crowd dere mostly executive... so oki lor... den as for partybox, not happy with the new manager dere... ii dunnoo.. wad i heard is tat she said we're not workin... fen ming shi zhen dui us mahzz.... 3 old staff not workin, all 3.... oni her own elly works lor... which is not the truth!! n for goodness sake celina still believes her.... aiyo, wen u see liao den u judge la...

but no more arguing... we've left...

den, nw aso face several invitation to start a new relationship... but made a choice liao... hah, hope dere's no regret.....

quite much to update la... i aso officially withdraw from nyp liao... hmmm... kk..