
10.23.2005!
HandWritten on; 5:49 AM
hmm... wen workin on frin n sat... i took a mini-survey with the partybox staff n customer... would dey believe in tis century dere's still tis thing as "force to get married"... i dunno y... i jus feel so glad wen dey say dere's tis possibility... well, but karen n michael gace me shocking answer which makes me feel tat im reali pretty stupid to believe wad he said totally... wad dey say... i guess i dun wan to publish here ba... = X cried so badly on friday nite... wha... aft guanda incident, i've nv cried till lidat lor... 1983 de guys great lor, can make me drop tears till like sg will be flood... lolz... k la, nw i calm dwn liao... oni feel so bad on fri... My sweetheart told me, "nvm will meet a better one next time"... wha, im pissed off by tis snetence! lolz... sorry sweetheart, im not angry with u jus feel so pissed off by tis sentence... u noe... nearly 20+ to many more tell me tis sentence wen i break off with my ex... nw lehz, nw still tell me tis... i cant accept... reali... when? when is the next one... kip sayin next one next one... u mean i mus get train ah? jus like gunbound or maple story lidat huh.. get train... n one level by one level... izzit?? nah... wadever he say la.. true or false... nvm.. we nv start any relationship.. so,... dun say le la... i admit i very naive... believe ppl super easily... n forgive em easily too.. den get emotional easily... i dun wish to b lidat ah... i gt no beautiful outlook... only have a big round ugly face... n wad i reali need is jus someone to care for me... someone i can tell him things n he can b by my side to dote me to care me n to luv me... jus wan a simple luv... from young i dun have a happy family... father isnt like father, abuse child n my mother... mother isnt my real mother, is stpe mother... i got no ppl to talk to since young... no ppl to pei me n i learn to kip all the things in my heart... cry so easily... ppl have bro n sis to talk abt their prob, but me lehz? my qin sheng ge ge left with my mother liao... all i noe was he care for me alot wen im young... tats it... dey left, but y dun bring me along? leave me with my father but he nv treat me well... reali... ppl can see me so happy outside as if im reali a easy-go-lucky... but, in my heart its not the case... he gave up on me le, i noe... i noe im not a gd daughter, but i realii feel very sorry... i jus wan someone to b by my side... i noe i've frns, BUT.... will dey reali stay by my side wenever i need em? sorry, i doubt so lor... i've already seen frns putting friendship aside wen dey have relationship le... but nvm, i wont blame dem, cuz once i was lidat too... i wan study too ah, but who's going to pay for my sch fees? i dun wish to work nite life while studyin too de my sweetheart jenn... but, i reali gt no choice... no ppl will pay for me de... i jus will believe ppl easily lor... tis is a stupid me... utterly stupid...